From A Distance
by racefh853629
Summary: Unrequited Dean/Cas fluff. "Dean was his rock, his light, and his Achilles’ heel, all rolled into one."


A/N: I don't own Supernatural, the CW, or any other known entity. This story takes place after "Good God, Ya'll". And, most importantly, is my birthday present for my good friend **speed_cochrane**, who wanted some Castiel in love. I hope you all enjoy, and please review. :D

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From A Distance

Castiel stood back, hidden from sight, just watching as the two brothers talked. When Sam got up and walked away, the angel frowned as he watched Dean dejectedly look on. It killed Dean to watch the only person left, the only true blood family he had, walk away, and this was something the angel was well aware of.

And yet, Dean seemed to not be making any movement toward his younger brother.

Castiel tilted his head. Dean's loyalty to Sam was unsurpassed by anything. So why would Dean simply watch as Sam leaves? The angel pondered this thought for a while. And then it occurred to him.

Trust.

It was trust that made Dean let Sam go. Or, more appropriately, lack thereof. Not that Sam, in Castiel's opinion, truly deserved a lot of Dean's trust. Castiel had never seen Sam return much of the loyalty Dean bestowed upon him. In fact, Castiel could've sworn that sometimes, Sam would rather fight and betray Dean.

Castiel, however, could never do that.

Dean was his rock, his light, and his Achilles' heel, all rolled into one. Every time he was near the elder brother, he was filled with these butterflies of emotions that he couldn't completely understand. And yet, every time he was near Dean, he regretted having to leave.

He knew he should be off looking for his father but right now, Castiel was more entranced with the view in front of him.

It was something so innocent, and so pure. Dean had no idea anyone was watching him, and Castiel knew that Dean also didn't really care if anyone was. Castiel wasn't about to try to speak to Dean, rather enjoying the view from his hiding spot.

Over the last year or so, Castiel had lost count of the times he had simply hung around, beyond the scope of Dean's grasp, finding Dean reading something or sleeping. The way his face looked so innocent, so peaceful, as he slept. The way his brow knit in concentration when he read. The smile he got whenever he was teasing Sam or Castiel about something.

Castiel lived for that smile, that innocence, that concentration.

Of course, the anger was a side-bar. A small price to pay for all the good moments. It had taken some warming to the idea, but Dean eventually got comfortable enough with Castiel to trust him, and, hopefully, even like him.

But Castiel was convinced that Dean would never love him the way he loved Dean.

Dean truly loved four things in life- women, the Impala, booze, and Sam. Not in that order, but there wasn't much else on that list. Maybe Bobby registered, but Castiel wasn't even a consideration to the list. He could live with that, though. Because at least Castiel could always watch Dean.

Castiel blushed slightly, thinking of some of Dean's… adventures… with the opposite sex. It was always… well, the thought of those moments was enough to make Castiel consider how he would never be accepted back to Heaven, and some things were better left unsaid.

Castiel watched as Dean sighed and shifted on the bench. If it wasn't for Castiel finding out that War had been here in River Pass, he might not have found Dean. Not without calling him. Castiel shook his head. He couldn't watch as easily as he used to. Maybe he would have to figure out how to use GPS tracking or something. However humans discretely track other humans.

In any case, he currently had a part of Dean to carry with him.

He fingered the amulet in his pocket, feeling the cool of the polished metal against his fingertips. A ghost of a smile came to his lips. Happiness. One emotion he could actually understand. Dean actually gave him the necklace. Yes, it took a little out-witting to get it, but Castiel still had it now.

The only downside was that he knew he'd have to give it back when this was over.

_If_ it ended.

Castiel shook that thought out of his head. They will end it, and Dean will survive.

Secretly, Castiel was glad for Dean's stubbornness. It meant that Michael would never get in there and take away Dean, the man Castiel loved. Because even the bad moments, the moments when Dean was yelling and blaming Castiel for things he had no control over, were better than nothing. Castiel couldn't live without Dean. Not anymore.

Not ever again.

Castiel moved a little out of the shadows, knowing Dean would never turn around to see him. Dean was off in his own world, and from the look on his face, Castiel assumed it was a painful thought process. Which could only mean one thing.

Dean was having second thoughts about letting Sam go.

Castiel wanted to go over there, assure Dean that he did the right thing, but that would be for his own selfish reasons. Because Sam not being there meant that Castiel had Dean all to himself, and nothing made the angel happier. Except for when Dean was happy. Which clearly wasn't at this moment.

Castiel inched a bit closer, turning the medallion around in his fingers as the butterflies started again. He suddenly felt like a stalker, even though it was part of his job to watch and ensure that Dean was okay. It always had been his job, ever since the day he pulled Dean out of Hell. At first, it was a burden.

But Dean had a certain charisma to him. Even when Dean was being a dick, Castiel loved him. It was more love than he had for any other human being. And maybe it was wrong, maybe it was blasphemous, but Castiel didn't care.

He rebelled for Dean, he killed for Dean, and he'd do it again.

Dean seemed to hear the footsteps behind him, because he turned and looked. Castiel felt like he had been busted, but didn't say anything at first. He just waited for Dean's reaction.

"Hey Cas," Dean said casually.

The angel could read between the lines, though. Pain. Confusion. Anger. Concern.

Castiel moved closer, standing next to the table while saying nothing.

"You okay?" Dean asked.

"Yes," Castiel replied, his voice calm despite the nerves he felt. Nervous, happy, and angry were pretty much the only emotions he felt fully. And love, if that could be called an emotion. That was more of a vibe, a feeling…

"You sure? You're kind of spacey."

Castiel shook his head. "Yes."

"What're you doing here? I thought I was hidden from angels."

"You are. War is not. I was unaware you were here until the priest informed me."

Dean smiled lightly. "You tell him you were an angel?"

Castiel shook his head again.

"I'm sure he'd have a lot of questions for you," Dean teased lightly.

"Many people do," Castiel replied earnestly.

Dean furrowed his brow. "Are you sure you're okay?"

Castiel swallowed back the thoughts that came to his mind in lieu of answers. "Yes. Stop asking."

Dean threw up his hands lightly in concession. "Okay, okay. I'm sorry. You just don't look okay."

"How would you feel if you rebelled and killed family, and it got you nowhere?"

Dean looked down, and Castiel knew he had said the wrong thing. Again. But it was the honest truth. Or, most of the truth. Castiel would never confess his feelings for Dean.

"My bad," Dean said softly.

"Not entirely yours," Castiel replied, his tone softer.

Dean looked up.

"If I had told you sooner…"

"No," Dean said. "Let's stop this talk, okay? What's next?"

"Finding God," Castiel replied.

"I thought you were on that."

"War distracted me."

"Yeah, sure, blame it on the Horseman," Dean teased.

Castiel glared slightly.

Dean smirked, and it took more willpower than Castiel was aware he contained to not smile as well.

"I am off," Castiel said, suddenly needing to get out of there and away from the power of that smirk. "I trust you will call me if you need me."

"Yeah," Dean said. "I'll be fine, though."

Castiel nodded, turning and starting to walk away.

"Hey, Cas?"

Castiel turned back around.

"You be careful, alright?"

Castiel nodded again, turning and disappearing into the woods. He flew off, hearing Dean's last words replaying in his head, and the concern that was behind them. Concern that was directed toward him. It gave Castiel a small glimmer of hope that maybe someday, Dean would return his feelings. And Castiel had no problem waiting forever for that to happen.

The End.


End file.
